Weekly Blog No 63 – Overview of 2015

 

This year has involved a lot of change in one way or another, some of it has been good and some of it not so good.

Births 

Two bundles of joy came into the world this year, a baby girl and a baby boy. Children bring such happiness to everyone and with Facebook nowadays you can see their continual development.

Bereavement

Death was on the agenda this year, losing loved ones is never easy. It’s one of those situations that is faced by everyone in life and can’t be avoided. Nothing prepares you for not having access to those people when they are gone, you continue life as if they are always going to be there. Memories is all you have and they can never be taken away.

Returning to the UK from Canada

Although it is wonderful to be home and close to friends & family, there are elements that I miss. I didn’t think I would miss snow but in a bizarre way I do and wonderful blue skies. I knew I would miss my friends, yet I didn’t realise how much. Thankfully nearly everyone has stayed in touch so too my Canadian friends a huge thank you.

On a funny note, I didn’t eat a whole load of chicken wings or hamburgers in Canada, strangely I still can’t face them. I’ve been back 6 months and the thought of them makes me feel nauseated.

Emotions

Not a person to get stressed and many people can vouch for me, I feel that I have packed years of being stress free into 6 months here. An international move or selling a house is less bothersome and that’s saying something. I just have to learn how to avoid tense situations, however it can be impossible sometimes when other people are involved.

Health

I’m thankful to be writing another overview, my 2nd since diagnosis. I do believe it’s down to a positive attitude and medical intervention. I am not 100% and can see a decline in my health in the last 12 months. Yes there has been some physical changes in appearance but people say I look no different. I have to agree with them to a certain degree and that’s the beauty of Carcinoid Cancer aka the good looking cancer.

I hope it’s not deterioration but just a case of my symptoms not controlled in a better way. I wish that I could live a life like other patients, who are able to work or travel. I do accept co-codamol (opiate) as a pain relief although I do find it unacceptable as a solution for GI issues in order to give me freedom. I don’t want to be addicted to narcotics just to get to a medical appointment, visit family or to a supermarket. Despite the fact I don’t agree with the treatment, I’m grateful for the freedom. Some days I feel so ill, therefore I am determined to change that and invest in people who are going to take care of me. Unfortunately I have a miss mash of care at the moment, which raises stress levels hence watch this space.

My husband J 

Can’t praise the man enough, there is one thing you wish for when you have an illness is undivided love & support. I have the love & support, therefore I just need the science. If I could manufacture him and give him to all people who are need of love & support I would.

As many of you know already, J worked as a construction professional leading major projects on an international airport in Canada . J is no longer working on an airport but is currently working on various projects big and small advising Architects, Engineers and Builders. This was also my professional role and even though I’m happy to hear about his working day it’s gut wrenching. I still agonise for work as strange as this may seem to some people. I do wonder if J misses the buzz of airport life like I miss employment.

Family & Friends

Since returning home I’ve been fortunate enough to have spent time with family and friends. It’s like I had never left in the first place. Just in the 6 months, I’ve laughed so much as banter is big in the UK. Memories are being made and let them continue.

Cooking 

My cooking skills are going from strength to strength and I feel that is down to having the time and  fabulous supply of wonderful ingredients in the UK.  My kitchen appliance of the year is my slow cooker, it’s my one pot stop lifesaver.

Books 

I love books and thanks to competitive shopping in the UK, books are cheap. I’ve already read a stash of books but I’m currently reading two at the minute, one on my phone and the other is a hardback book.

Music

I love listening to the endless radio stations in the UK, in Canada I would only listen to one. I’m in CD heaven again and now I look like a CD hoarder, the choice here is amazing. I’ve fulfilling my pastimes again since being back.

Overall Summary

I’m grateful to be here another year and to be able to enjoy both the good times and bad times. I shall look forward to 2016 with as much enthusiasm as 2015. Thank you to all the people who support me and Happy New Year.

 

 

 

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Weekly Blog No 44 – A Letter to a Special Lady.

Dear Aunt N

All your life you gave to caring for people, a career dedicated to providing for others. You were my aunt, a very special woman who consistently gave me your love and support. I shall pass on all your words of wisdom to others and the memories I have, are priceless, which will always be cherished.

I’m happy you’re no longer suffering and have closed your wearily eyes. I will look forward to meeting you again someday.

Your heartbroken niece

Kate (as you would call me) x

Cancer has taken another exceptional person, who will be always missed. ❤️

Weekly Blog No 35 – I’m Back.

I don’t know where to start, I’ve been away for 5 weeks but it feels like months.

Life never prepares you for the emotions you feel when you’re faced with health issues, bereavement and your husband’s job loss. It’s how we deal with it that’s more important.

Bereavement, there is no words, but they say time is a healer. I know these words to be  true but only time with tell especially with loved ones.

My husband is still not working, nevertheless I love having him around. There is a downturn in Calgary and every week you hear of more & more lay offs. We do have a plan A, B, C and D and we are currently sitting between C & D. Staying positive is the key to success.

Health wise, well now that’s been a roller coaster of appointments, procedures and opinions. I will give you the shorter version of events, in my attempt to improve my quality of life.

I have some amazing friends that have the same cancer, yet they seem to have a life with what seems no limitations or restrictions. I’m so grateful for my care to date but for the last year I have become very frustrated. I have started to challenge things and even my family physician has done a lot of ground work due to concerns we both have.  Time after time tests are revealing things yet I’m progressively getting worse.  With this in mind, I decided I would go to New Orléans, USA to see experts specialising in this type of cancer. They were either going to confirm my existing concerns or that I have no immediate issues.

The experts were wonderful and their ability shun through however they validated my concerns. Armed with their findings, I took information to my care team on Monday and my concerns regarding additional tumours were dismissed. The recommendation of the experts was further surgery to “grab the suckers”, their words not mine and this would improve my quality of life.  I wouldn’t be cured but I would live again and enjoy life without limitations. I am meeting a neuroendocrine tumour surgeon at the end of the month so I am curious what she concludes. In the meantime, I had an MRI on my c-spine last Friday only to get a telephone call on Tuesday informing me my family physician is speaking to my spine surgeon.  I’m already having my 4th lumbar spine surgery at the end of the month.  The scan shows that I have problems on t-spine but I have a lesion on my c-spine (C3) that requires a further investigation. I am waiting to hear.

It doesn’t matter what the world throws at me, I’m still smiling and getting on with life. I really don’t know where I get the inner strength to handle everything but I do know that my friends & family admire how I take everything in my stride.

My immediate goal is to catch up on my fellow bloggers. Read read and read  ❤️