Weekly Blog No 112 – Overview of 2017

It’s been a few weeks since my last blog, due to me recovering from my surgery. I thought I would count how many blogs that I did last year and the result was only 20 blogs out of potential 52.

My health evidently had an impact on me posting blogs this year. I will endeavour to improve that number next year, even if it is just by one. On a positive note, my followers have increased in numbers and since commencing my blog in 2014, the number of views is approximately 12k. Woohoo.

Friends & Family

Thank you to friends and family for your continuous support. I have a huge amount of respect for people that consistently care and support Mr Zebrakat and I. Honestly from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for everything. Specifically all the people who sent cards, flowers, plants, mags, chocs & sweets, biscuits and messages.

I have to be honest though and say there is a few people on my radar who haven’t fully supported me and that does shock me. In my eyes that can’t be justified why but maybe in their eyes they can, who knows. I’m certainly not going to invest anymore time wondering why.

Lottie (Dog)

She has settled into her new home and loves the garden. Just like in Canada, she likes to sit in the garden facing the sun catching the rays.

She has adapted so well with all the changes we have put her through including the construction on the house.

Thanks to K who looks after Lottie when I’m on appointments etc. Knowing your pet is in good hands is very reassuring and I have gained a coffee buddy too.

New Home

We been here for a year now and the changes to the property are progressing. New windows, stone window cills, shutter blinds, roof lights, guttering & downpipes, new brickwork, forming a new bathroom, knocking walls down, new stairs to loft, chimney removed, new fireplace, loft conversion etc.

The list is endless and I have to thank Mr zebrakat, my brother and nephew for their hard work. Your help to reach our goals has been invaluable and is really appreciated by both of us. Obviously various trades have done certain things but they moderately have been done by family.

Health

I’m sure most of you have read Weekly Blog No 111 – Post Op Update. I’m now 6 weeks post surgery and doing ok. My wound is still being dressed daily by the district nurses and has a little way to go. I’m no longer in pain, nevertheless I am still contending with symptoms that are relentless. No medication at this moment in time is helping but hopefully that will change.

I still haven’t received my post op follow up appointment but my Net Cancer team are chasing it for me. I will have scans again just before the beginning of February before seeing my Net Cancer Consultant. Mr Zebrakat and I have a lot of questions for that appointment but I’m unsure if we will get satisfactory answers.

Despite the endless scans this year, I don’t have complete faith in them. I will continue to listen to my body, which has consistently given me warnings of tumour activity. I think 4 times on the surgical table makes me an expert in some respects. I definitely feel a lot lighter having less organs. Hopefully this coming year is going to be a more healthy year with less issues.

Hobbies

Well, I did have a successful year gardening. My first year of sowing seeds and planting cuttings did indeed produce various fruits and vegetables. I will attempt sow directly into my vegetable boxes next year to see if I am as successful with my crops.

My reading of books hasn’t stopped but I have been completing books at a much slower pace this year. This year I’ve been lucky enough to be in contact with a couple of authors whose books I read. I’m always amazed how they produce such wonderful work with an outstanding imagination. Were would we be without books.

Travel is on the cards next year and optimistically my health won’t prevent me from reaching those goals.

Theatre visits is a must, there is a couple of big shows in London I want to see. Who doesn’t love a musical.

Overview

This year has been quiet challenging, nevertheless I’m still here to tell the tale. I’m so grateful to the surgeon for making me pain-free and possibly extended my life a little. I’ve learned new skills in the garden and been covered in the bottomless pit of dust through building work. I’ve spent quality time with people I love. Furthermore Mr Zebrakat wins the award for husband of the year for his love and dedication as always.

Happy New Year Everyone.

Love to you all. ❤️<<
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Weekly Blog No 27 – Welcome 2015

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This year is all about self development and to achieve some new personal skills.

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Firstly, I want to accomplish some new cooking skills. I have purchased the tools, a kitchenaid food processor and food mixer. My goal is to use as many unprocessed ingredients as possible and develop some healthy dishes for me and my husband. I’m not trying to change my way of eating as a result of the cancer as I have previously spent thousands on natural therapies and treatments prior to my diagnosis. My opinion at the minute is not a good one in that respect, I have invested in my body yet I have an incurable cancer so I’m struggling how it was beneficial to me. I do believe eating sensibly is beneficial for your body but not as a cancer cure. Perhaps my line of thought may change over the coming year.

Secondly, I would like to explore music, i don’t know whether to learn a new musical instrument as I can play a few or continue lessons in music theory. I loved music theory at school and wish that my school had offered the subject as CSE/GSC(High School) qualification. The fiddle seems appealing or perhaps I will do both. Time to investigate where to learn the fiddle.

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Thirdly, I want to paint or craft in one way or another. Ideally it would be nice to earn some money from my existing skills.

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Fourthly, I would to continue my writing skills as I do enjoy to writing. I have been writing for nearly a year and the feedback has been wonderful. Thank you to my readers, I shall continue to write with enthusiasm.

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Fifthly, I would like to travel, nowadays this would be a huge achievement. I can’t help but hope that my cancer treatment will improve my quality of life thus allowing me to travel to see family & friends and to make new memories.

Hopefully in December, I will be able to inform my readers of my achievements. Do you have any personal goals his year?

Weekly Blog No 10 – Overcoming Reality.

True Quote

True Quote

This weeks challenge is overcoming reality of the situation and remaining focus.

A week today, I went to see my Oncologist to discuss the way forward. This was going to be a difficult meeting with my Dr due to my recent op and its findings. When I had my liver resection in January, I certainly didn’t expect to be back in hospital in May for an appendix op. I just wasn’t ready for further a operation, nevertheless I was truly sick of being a patient. 4 operations in 14 months, now I’m not looking for sympathy but the reality is when you have cancer you have to be prepared to accept the unexpected as you don’t have control over the situation.

This appointment was to discuss the facts of the current situation, the Oncologist informed me that my cancer had spread and net tumours were located in the mesoappendix. He informed me that the disease was progressing quiet rapidly, which I then asked “how long do I have”. He told me that I have years rather than months but it would be a good idea to start actioning my bucket list immediately as my health is deteriorating and I might be too sick to do activities in the not to distant future.

This was shocking news and no one ever wants to think they are dying especially so young. My immediate thoughts were, how do I tell the family and will I ever work again. My family are both in the UK & Ireland so not really on my doorstep and I do miss work terribly. It’s the 1st time, in 16 months I said “why me” and “how did this happen”. During this week I was experiencing the angry phase too ” why did doctors not detect my symptoms sooner” and ” why was I only diagnosed at Stage 4″ the final stage. I have since calmed down, nevertheless those feelings may come back again with many tears.

The bucket list, I gave it some thought previously and have considered things in the last week including taking ownership of some goldfish. My husband bought me the goldfish this week, which I will discuss further in next weeks challenge. I have came to the conclusion that a bucket list is so final and could be too much pressure. Why put pressure on myself when trying to deal with an illness just makes no sense to me. I will wing it, I will attempt to do things when I can and just make the most of life. This would not be everyone’s decision but Ive been very fortunate in life to have travelled and reach my own personal goals. I will continue to be the proactive person I am as long as my health allows me too. Live life to the fullest is my motto.